::the love letter above all love letters::

Below is the letter of Major Sullivan Ballou of the Union Army's Second Regiment, Rhode Island Volunteers, to his wife Sarah days before he was killed in the Battle of Bull Run. Ballou wrote the letter on July 14, 1861 while awaiting orders that would take him down to Manassas, Virginia where he was killed on July 28.  Ballou, 32, was a lawyer and father of two small boys, Edgar and Willie, who volunteered to fight for the Union Army. 

My very dear Sarah: 

The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days -- perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more. 

Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure -- and it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. Not my will, but thine O God, be done. 

If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. 

I know how strongly American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the Government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing -- perfectly willing -- to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this Government, and to pay that debt. 

But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows -- when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children -- is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country? 

I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death -- and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee. 

I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and of the principles I have often advocated before the people and "the name of honor that I love more than I fear death" have called upon me, and I have obeyed. 

Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on with all these chains to the battlefield. 

The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God and to you that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years, when God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. 

I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me -- perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar -- that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name. 

Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have oftentimes been! 

How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more. 

But, O Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night -- amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours -- always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. 

Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again. 

As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father's love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. 

Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. 

Tell my two mothers his and hers I call God's blessing upon them. 

O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children. 

Sullivan

Taken from FOX News 

::DIY dry erase board::

I think I have figured out how Wayne's and my relationship works:

Wayne has cool ideas & I make them pretty.

So simple!

For months now, this giant whiteboard has dominated our kitchen. It was originally purchased to be a weekly meal planner (Wayne's idea), but quickly turned into a weekly planner of all things Baxter. And while we were neat and tidy at first, our penmanship and care has gone down the toilet, making this great idea a total eyesore, in my opinion.

I recently came upon this tutorial for a DIY dry erase board on the SAS Interiors blog and thought how easy it looked, not to mention how much more decorative this functional item could be!

So off I went to Michaels craft store last night and boy did I score BIG. These two 11 x 17 frames were on sale for $5.99 each (yup!) and I took my chances with a coupon, which reduced them even further to $3.99 each! I couldn't believe my luck. I found some scrapbooking paper I thought would be nice (but not too feminine) in our kitchen, and it was on sale, too (5 sheets for $2). Together with the goodies in my craft box, I knew I could make this work.

After only an hour or so, this was the result! I made two small boards instead of one large one, and it remains a weekly board, not monthly.

I pretty much love it.

Now there's something pretty to look at in the kitchen! The old whiteboard is sitting in the basement, waiting for a new task. :)

::Darling capelet::

A friend commissioned me to make a gift for a little girl's upcoming third birthday. When contemplating my options, I came across Prudent Baby's adorable reversible capelet. I thought this looked like a fun wardrobe addition a little girl could wear to feel "fancy," in addition to being practical for cool fall/spring evenings.

I love that once you understand the pattern/idea, you can alter it to your heart's content. The ties can be done with ribbon, straps, Velcro, etc. I stuck with the tutorial for my first one and it turned out pretty well, I think! I'll definitely be making one of these for Miss H for next summer. I'd love to make a longer, super hero-type version for a little boy!

::Stay-at-home-parent::

The following article will be published in the next issue of the Carberry News Express, a paper in the neighbouring town of Carberry (about 25 mins east of Shilo - and supposedly Canada's second largest potato-producing community!). I have been writing two articles per month aimed at reaching the military members and their families who choose to live there and commute to Shilo.

*   *  *

I never have considered myself particularly maternal. I played house when I was a little girl, but only if I could be the Mommy (I like control). I heaved great sighs of exasperation each time my parents asked me to take care of my little brother while they worked (we’re nine years apart). I have never liked children; I only babysat for the money (I got a job at McDonald’s as soon as I turned 15 to avoid this frustrating task!). And when I met and married Wayne at 24, I was working full-time as a writer and editor, while serving at restaurants and pubs on the weekends. This provided the extra spending money we used to fund our fantastic D-I-N-K lifestyle (DINK = Double Income, No Kids). It was great!

Then, I began to see babies as the expression of a couple’s love and intimacy; as a reason to grow and learn together; and as a tiny bundle to call our own, to nurture and teach and love and raise. I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay home 24/7 to raise one. But I knew it was the next step in our marriage; we just had to figure out how to make it work for us.

The dream became a reality only once we decided to become a military family. Living in Metro Vancouver, our two-bedroom townhouse was not only too small for more than one child, but it was far too expensive to afford on one income. I would have had to go back to work and pay for daycare, which is hard to come by in that area. We would have been near family, but both our sets of parents were years away from retirement at the time and would not have been able to provide regular childcare. Our yard was also roughly the size of a postage stamp – no fun for a kid.

So when the opportunity to join the Canadian Forces presented itself, it seemed to be the logical answer. Wayne would have a contract that would guarantee his position; we’d rent on base so he could work close to home; and I could stay home with the kids while they are little. It seemed almost too good to be true!

Of course, it was. Wayne left to complete his training for a total of 16 months, and then the Army moved us to the middle of the Prairies. This wasn’t exactly what I had imagined.

But after the initial shock, I began to appreciate this crazy life for what it is, and I can say now that I have enjoyed the position of CEO of the Baxter home more than any other title I’ve held in my career, even if it is in the middle of nowhere! I now officially consider myself a stay-at-home-parent, instead of just a mom who doesn’t have time to work. And I am not only okay with that, but I am delighted to have the opportunity to be home; not everyone who wants to do this, can.

I admit, sometimes I ask myself how my life went from high heels, boardroom meetings, and after-work cocktails to flip flops, naptime, and Sesame Street. Sometimes I grumble at the fact that I have to drive 25 minutes into Brandon just to buy groceries. And I totally add menial tasks to my morning to-do list, just so I have something to cross off (today’s list included "make coffee," "read flyers," and "lunch," just to avoid "fold laundry," "empty dishwasher," and "wash diapers"). But I know that being home with my kids is my primary role right now, and I know myself well enough to know that I don’t have the energy reserve to pour into them and a job outside the home. But it’s okay. It won’t be like this forever. It’s just another stage of life, and I am blessed to have a husband who supports it.

::Upcycled diaper bag::

Another sewing project! I'm on a roll...

Heidi has a pair of corduroy overall she never wore. I loved them so much - the print is so happy and fun - that I carefully hung them in her closet and waited and waited until she would grow big enough to wear them. Of course, they were given to me when she was newborn, and I had no reference point for how fast she would grow, especially as the product of two tall parents.

Alas, twelve months came and went and I thought surely, they would still be too big. But by the time I thought to bring them out of the closet, they were too short! (I wasn't sewing at the time, or I would have thought to cut them off into a romper.) They have been sitting all this time in Heidi's closet, and eventually made their way into the "to sell" pile of Heidi's massive wardrobe.

Then I found this tutorial, which shows you how to make a diaper bag alternative with a pair of children's overalls! I loved this idea, especially because my diaper bag, which I also use as a purse, has been slowly accumulating more and more stuff now that I have two children! (I'm a "just in case" type of person, ok?) It's intended to enable Mommy to use her own purse and have detachable diaper bag, so she doesn't have to constantly switch her wallet, keys, makeup, etc. from the diaper to her purse when she does go out without her kids (rare, I know).

But what a perfect way to continue to show off this fun print and make it functional, too. And once I'm done with diaper bags (when will that be???), Heidi can use it. (They were her overalls, after all.)

My only problem was that the straps on these overalls weren't adjustable; the overalls did up in the back with a zipper. This wouldn't allow me to attach the bag to the straps of my purse. So, when I cut off the legs just at the crotch to sew up the bottom of the bag, I reserved the snaps that followed the length of the insides of the legs and created my own adjustable straps! I cut on the seam of the original straps, folded them down and zigzag stitched the new snaps on.

(Yes, that's crooked stitching below that snap, but I'm no perfectionist when it comes to projects for myself). 

This could not have been an easier project. It's the perfect way to preserve some of your favourite kids' clothing!

The finished bag, full of goodies!

The essentials.

My current purse...

My current purse with the diaper bag attached. Fun!

If you live in the area and would like me to convert your child's overalls into a detachable bag, use my contact form at www.facebook.com/GingerRootCreations. 

::Spring chicken::

When I saw this easy tutorial for a stuffed chicken from the sewing blog Sew, Mama, Sew, I knew I had to make it! Thankfully, Heidi's friend Michael is about to turn 2, and this seemed to be the perfect little friend to make for him. It took me only a couple of hours, and other than the body fabric, I used scraps to make the rest of the pieces! I love projects that use scraps. The best part about stuffies is that you can really create a personality with the fabrics you choose. In the tutorial, the chicken is quite whimsical with the orange body, whereas mine came out a little more "country," with the traditional colours.

Here is the finished product. Happy birthday, Michael!

::Sunshine Muffins::

Today, I baked. I haven't done that in a while, being that Wayne and I are trying to make healthier food choices (and nachos, cookies, and cake pops don't exactly fall into the "healthy" category, do they?).

I made a recipe my mom has been making for years, from The Best of Bridge cookbooks. They're called Sunshine Muffins, and they are so moist and refreshing, I could eat them every day. They are an orange-based muffin, and lend themselves to all sorts of fruit/nut/chocolate mix-ins. While I always include semisweet chocolate chips (because chocolate and orange is my most favourite food combination in the world!), I decided today to include chopped fresh cherries. No joke, the cherries from Superstore for the past couple of weeks have been to die for. Just like picking them off the tree! Amazing.

I also decided to tweak the recipe a bit, to make it a tad healthier by reducing the sugar. With the chocolate chips and cherries, I would never have noticed the sugar was reduced (and my waistline probably didn't either). Bonus: this recipe is quick and easy.

Suffice it to say, these are not the *healthiest* version of these muffins that I could make. I could substitute some of the flour for whole wheat, throw in some wheat germ or bran, include nuts instead of chocolate, and use applesauce instead of oil. Alas, I threw caution to the wind and whipped them up the way they were meant to be made. Mostly. Recipe below.

Sunshine Muffins

1 whole orange (pref. organic), cut into 8 pieces
1/2 cup orange juice (or just another orange if you don't have O.J.)
1 egg
1/4 cup oil (I use grapeseed) --> or substitute applesauce
1 1/2 cups flour
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1/2 cup cherries
1/4-1/2 cup semisweet chocolate chips

Instructions:
Combine cut-up orange (that’s right – the whole orange), orange juice, egg and oil in blender or food processor. Blend until smooth. 

In a bowl, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and salt. Add your mix-ins and combine to coat them with the flour mixture. 

Add wet mixture to dry mixture and stir by hand until just combined. Pour batter into 12 muffin tins (I use silicone) and bake at 375 deg.F (190 deg.C) for 15-20 minutes. Makes 12 muffins.

Book Reference – The Best of the Best – Vol. 1