Since being on maternity leave, I have discovered I am not too good at doing nothing. I don't really know how to relax at home. At home, there's always something to DO, like sweep or mop, wash dishes, make beds, walk the dog, cook or bake. The only times in my life I've really allowed myself to relax is on vacation, where my surroundings don't dictate my daily tasks (well they do, but the tasks include better things like drinking dirty gin martinis, swimming, and sunbathing!).
Today, Wayne is out with his buddy geocaching in Fleetwood Park. No problem, except we have only one car. Not that I have anywhere to be, but I suppose I'm so used to being on my own with the freedom to what I want, when I want, and it's usually structured by a schedule. I could walk to Starbucks, or go shave my legs, or have a nap, I suppose. But I'm a bit indecisive at the moment...grrrr. This is like PMS without the moodiness.
Any of you moms reading this are likely rolling your eyes and thinking, "Get OVER it! I would kill to be bored for 5 mins.!" And I know this will end as soon as baby arrives. I'm just in a funk, I think: done being pregnant and now just WAITING; overjoyed to have Wayne home but not used to waking up each day, together, with nothing in particular to do; being told by the midwife to relax and pamper myself (what does that MEAN when you have no money?!). I think I'd welcome some structure back into my routine. I don't miss work, but I do miss having a purpose each morning. It was such a delight to get up to take the dog to daycare at 8 am today, to have a deadline to get out of the house. But now, I'm looking at this screen and feeling a little lost. Weird...
I'll probably look back on this post in a week or two and laugh at how pathetic this sounds - "Tough life, Meg, being bored. You should have enjoyed it!" Maybe I will take that nap. At least time will seem to speed up.