Wednesday, September 2, 2009

::tick, tock::

Since being on maternity leave, I have discovered I am not too good at doing nothing. I don't really know how to relax at home. At home, there's always something to DO, like sweep or mop, wash dishes, make beds, walk the dog, cook or bake. The only times in my life I've really allowed myself to relax is on vacation, where my surroundings don't dictate my daily tasks (well they do, but the tasks include better things like drinking dirty gin martinis, swimming, and sunbathing!).

Today, Wayne is out with his buddy geocaching in Fleetwood Park. No problem, except we have only one car. Not that I have anywhere to be, but I suppose I'm so used to being on my own with the freedom to what I want, when I want, and it's usually structured by a schedule. I could walk to Starbucks, or go shave my legs, or have a nap, I suppose. But I'm a bit indecisive at the moment...grrrr. This is like PMS without the moodiness.

Any of you moms reading this are likely rolling your eyes and thinking, "Get OVER it! I would kill to be bored for 5 mins.!" And I know this will end as soon as baby arrives. I'm just in a funk, I think: done being pregnant and now just WAITING; overjoyed to have Wayne home but not used to waking up each day, together, with nothing in particular to do; being told by the midwife to relax and pamper myself (what does that MEAN when you have no money?!). I think I'd welcome some structure back into my routine. I don't miss work, but I do miss having a purpose each morning. It was such a delight to get up to take the dog to daycare at 8 am today, to have a deadline to get out of the house. But now, I'm looking at this screen and feeling a little lost. Weird...

I'll probably look back on this post in a week or two and laugh at how pathetic this sounds - "Tough life, Meg, being bored. You should have enjoyed it!" Maybe I will take that nap. At least time will seem to speed up.


  1. Well, you could go sample some Pumpkin Spice at Starbucks...

  2. You are completely allowed to be annoyed with the boredom. The one week I had of maternity leave sans baby was the worst week ever! I hated it. Nothing to do but think about how that little baby wasn't coming fast enough! The thing that really drove me crazy was knowing I was on the verge of something hugely exciting and significant, and it could literally happen at any minute, night or day. And not knowing when it would happen drove this control freak bonkers! And it doesn't matter how much people tell you to "relax and enjoy it now, b/c it's about to get crazy." It's hard to relax and be at peace in the moment with something so big on the horizon. Just hang in there! As for ideas to beat the boredom: good book? movie marathon? puzzle? I spent a lot of time folding and unfolding those adorable little baby clothes. ;-)

  3. I agree, you are not crazy..I was off for 9 weeks before baby came, looking back I wonder how I survived! and like you said the things you would usually do with all that time off you can't right now;) Its the most tortuess boring time ever with the waiting game, but soon it will be over, and than you will appreciate those little minutes of peace when the baby sleeps..and you do get them..maybe not the first couple of weeks, but they come;)!

  4. Thanks, ladies. :) Anika, I can't drink milk and won't drink soy while preggo - too much estrogen in the stuff. Julie, I remember you saying how much fun you DIDN'T have being off without baby. Makes me feel no so bad. Crystal, at least I know I'll top out at five weeks (if I'm overdue by two). Nine weeks?! I can't imagine!

  5. Weren't you due sometime last week? Can't wait!!!

  6. i love your honesty. i am the same way meg (i actually posted about something similar this morning). i need to feel purposeful in the every-day. and yet... these are the significant moments. moments which seem not to matter...

    i love that wayne is geocaching. trent is really into that too. i am praying your little one arrives pronto.

    love to you today... emily.

  7. Wow! time goes by so quickly. I was in the same spot as you....waiting for 3 weeks after my due date, wondering when is this going to happen. I would say enjoy and relax but I know when people said that to me i was thinking, yah ok!
    I can't wait to see pictures of your precious baby!!! Praying lots for you Meg!