Monthly (?) update - ha!

Yes, I'm still alive. I have officially received "complaints" about my blog tardiness (it can't be that interesting, honestly). So here I am, at 10:51 pm, procrasinating as I prepare to arise at 4:45 am tomorrow to head to Montreal for Wayne's graduation. Blech.

This month has been (and will continue to be) one of transition: I finished up at Coast Capital after being lured back to Focus on the Family Canada by a fancy new title and a one-year contract to cover the mat leave for the gal who took over for me when I left in March. I've been back a week and it's really like I never left.

***Random blurt: I just signed in to Internet Explorer and randomly some smooth jazz-type music automatically started playing. First it was "Autum Leaves," then "Popsicle Toes" by Diana Krall...now it's some flamenco-type jazz guitar. It's awesome music but...where the heck is it coming from??? My computer has acquired an ear for good tunage! Should I be concerned?

I digress: In the theme of transition, I have painted the main floor of the house and a wall in the master bedroom (tip: one standard wall takes almost an ENTIRE gallon of red paint!), my dad spent the day here yesterday installing crown moulding (looks HOT!) and two IKEA floating shelves we've had for ages. Now, I get to see Wayne Wednesday (and possibly a brief visit at the base tomorrow night) and we hope he'll be heading home this weekend (if not, then next weekend) for 3 to 4 weeks.

My man has worked so hard these past 15 weeks, I can't wait to have him home just to dote on him hand and foot! It may sound lame, but he asked me last week, "What do you want to do first when I get home?" Know what I said? "Your laundry, make you supper, and sip a beer while we watch your episodes of Walker, Texas Ranger" (I bought him the entire box set for his bday). Yes, this is lame - why would I want to do his laundry? As much as chores suck the fun out of a day, I just can't wait to be needed again, to feel useful to the one I love, and to express love in practical ways. I may have had a different experince if I had never known the wholeness and unity of marriage thusfar - being alone in a home I call my own for four months may have had a different effect on me. But carrying around a heart heavy with longing for unscheduled and enduring connection has painted this experience in a more sombre light. True, I've enjoyed getting the house in order, bonding with my puppy, eating in front of the tv nightly (!), and shopping for only me and cleaning only one toilet (double HA!). Oh, and impromptu girls' nights rock, too. But to come home to everything the same as I left it (initially, a blessing), to come home to a dog I know I'm fully responsible for, to have no one to cook crazy new recipes for, to have no one to kiss my cheek goodnight and good morning...these things have been a little tough.

By no means am I diminishing the plight of others who've endured immeasurable heartache comparatively. However, I only have my life to live, and I only know what I know. And so far, this has been a flash in the pan of time, while simultaneously the longest four months of my life.

And it all ends this week. :)

EDIT: I wrote a longer conclusion with some meaningful points, but LOST IT in the preview box! Argh! Now you knwo why I blog so "frequently."

See you Friday!