Monday, February 16, 2009

I'm just not that into this crap

So, I saw this movie yesterday afternoon. I went in having read a dependable review and knowing that I'd need to "check my morals at the door." That said, this movie really served no purpose. It glorifies the "what's-in-it-for-me" attitude toward relationships that so many people think of as normal these days and obliterates any sense of commitment that should come with the idea of a serious relationship. Granted, when Neil finally proposes to Beth, it's a "wonderful" moment of relief for the audience...and Beth. But this comes only after Beth tells him that after seven years of a relationship in which she has endured Neil's lack of "belief" in marriage, he has been more of a husband to her than any of her sisters' selfish, beer-drinking, sports-crazed husbands ever could be. (Because of course, once men become husbands, they all transform into sloppy cavemen, right...?) It takes her finally being okay with living in the realm of unknown commitment for him to want to make her happy by putting a ring on her bloody finger. There's something backward about that, don't you think? Why should a woman come down to a man's level of fear and confusion before he figures out he's got a good thing and should hold on to it? Shouldn't that be a red flag, that she would compromise herself that way? Isn't this what causes the infidelity and ultimate break-up of Ben and Janine? She gave him an ultimatum - get married or leave - which resulted in a relationship full of resentment and regret. Why are we watching one couple play this out, yet cheering for another couple who is starting their marriage the exact same way? Sound confusing? It was! Who thought this script was good?

Call me old fashioned, but a real man knows what he wants and gets it! (This is the only solid, true tidbit in the movie, as told to Gigi by Alex: "If a man wants to take you out, he will make it happen, no matter what.") And don't even get me started on Gigi. Adorable girl, I'll give her that. But it was like watching a 14-year-old girl drool over the most popular guy at school, except the guys in the plot kept changing. Yes, we were ALL like that in high school. But this girl has got to be at least 27? Why is she so afraid to be a whole person, alone? Sorry, but if you're that obsessed with finding "the one," you've got more than relationship issues to deal with; you've got mental issues.

So, if you want a few good laughs and won't be brought down by the pathetic lives of people who just can't "get it right" in their relationships (although, the definition of "right" is all over the place in this flick), sure, go see this movie. But it left me wondering why women torture themselves for the sake of sissy men, and where guys get off thinking that manhood and masculinity lies in treating women like idiots.

"Be good husbands to your wives. Honor them, delight in them. As women they lack some of your advantages. But in the new life of God's grace, you're equals. Treat your wives, then, as equals so your prayers don't run aground."
-1 Peter 3:7, The Message

"Wives, understand and support your husbands by submitting to them in ways that honor the Master. Husbands, go all out in love for your wives. Don't take advantage of them."
-Colossians 3:18-19, The Message

"Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated by your life of holy beauty. What matters is not your outer appearance — the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes —but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in. The holy women of old were beautiful before God that way, and were good, loyal wives to their husbands."
-1 Peter 3:1-5, The Message


  1. Funny thing, I dated a Neil for about 4 years with that exact same perspective on relationships and commitment. And then I kicked him to the curb and would have no more of it :)

    I haven't seen the movie and imagine I probably won't. Good to know what you thought of it!!

  2. very well said, meghan! and i love the message version of these verses...